115: Beyond the Barbell: Overcoming Fear, Finding Confidence, and Feeling Strong
Beyond the Barbell: How to Stop Second-Guessing Your Workouts and Actually Feel Strong
Struggling with gym anxiety or questioning if you're lifting heavy enough? Learn how to build confidence, overcome training fears, and feel truly strong with practical fitness advice from BROADS.
Be honest: how many times have you walked into the gym feeling like a total fraud?
You're mid-set, questioning your form. Wondering if you're pushing hard enough. Comparing yourself to everyone around you. And leaving unsure if you actually did anything productive.
Yeah, we've all been there.
In episode 115 of BROADS, we're getting raw and real about what it takes to build genuine confidence in the gym. Host Tara sits down with Emily (aka ATX Cake Bae and the marketing mastermind behind Broads) for an unfiltered fitness Q&A that tackles the questions you've been sliding into our DMs about every single week.
If you've ever felt like a newbie under the bar, battled imposter syndrome in the weight room, or wondered if you're actually making progress, this one's for you.
The Real Talk: Training Through Life's Curveballs
Emily kicked things off by getting vulnerable about her own training journey, specifically how she's adapting her approach through hormone shifts and life stress.
Here's the thing nobody talks about enough: your training doesn't exist in a vacuum. Your hormones, stress levels, sleep quality, and life circumstances all impact how your body responds to exercise. What worked six months ago might not serve you today, and that's completely normal.
The key? Learning to listen to your body and adjust accordingly, instead of white-knuckling through programs that aren't working for your current season of life. This isn't giving up; it's training smarter.
APEX Recap: The Power of Community in Women's Strength
Tara shared her experience competing at APEX and what it felt like to tap back into that athlete fire. But beyond the PRs and platform moments, the real magic was the community.
There's something powerful about being surrounded by women who are strong, supportive, and unapologetically taking up space. It reminds you that strength isn't just about numbers, it's about showing up, pushing your limits, and celebrating the hell out of each other's wins.
If you've been craving that energy, that's exactly what we're building in the Broads community.
Mind-Muscle Connection: Are You Actually "Feeling" Your Workout?
One of the most common questions we get: "How do I actually feel the muscles I'm supposed to be working?"
Great question. Because if you're doing bicep curls but only feeling your forearms, or squatting without feeling your glutes fire, you're missing the point.
Mind-muscle connection isn't woo-woo, it's about intentionally focusing on the muscle you're training and ensuring it's doing the work. Here's how to build it:
Slow down your reps - Stop rushing through sets just to check boxes
Use tempo training - Control the eccentric (lowering) phase to maximize tension
Lighten the load if needed - Sometimes less weight with better connection beats heavy weight with sloppy form
Visualize the muscle working - Literally think about contracting the target muscle during each rep
This mental focus transforms your training from mindless movement to purposeful strength building.
How to Plan Your Workouts and Move With Purpose
Feeling lost in the gym? Walking in without a plan is like trying to navigate a new city without a map, you might get somewhere, but it'll take way longer and you'll probably get frustrated.
Here's what planning your workouts actually looks like:
Know your goal for the day. Are you building strength? Working on hypertrophy? Practicing technique? Each requires a different approach.
Take up space. Stop apologizing for your presence in the gym. You belong there just as much as anyone else. Set up your equipment, claim your space, and own it.
Have a structured program. Whether you're following a coach's plan or programming for yourself, structure keeps you consistent and ensures progressive overload.
Track your progress. Write down your weights, reps, and how movements felt. This data is gold for knowing when to push harder and when to scale back.
The confidence you're searching for? It comes from showing up with intention, not perfection.
Progressive Lifting: How to Actually Get Stronger Without the Fear
Let's address the elephant in the room: How do you know if you're lifting heavy enough?
This is where RPE (Rate of Perceived Exertion) becomes your best friend. Instead of obsessing over arbitrary numbers, RPE helps you gauge intensity based on how hard your sets feel:
RPE 6-7 - Moderate effort, could do 3-4 more reps
RPE 8 - Hard effort, 2 reps left in the tank
RPE 9 - Very hard, maybe 1 rep left
RPE 10 - Max effort, nothing left to give
Most of your training should live in the RPE 7-8 range. You're challenging yourself without destroying your nervous system every session.
The magic happens when you test your limits progressively. Add 5 pounds here, an extra rep there. Trust that your body is capable of more than your brain wants to believe.
Fear will tell you to play it safe. Growth happens when you challenge that voice.
Why Maintenance Seasons Aren't Failure, They're Progress
Here's a mindset shift that'll change everything: maintenance is not regression.
You don't have to be chasing PRs and crushing yourself in the gym 365 days a year. Sometimes the goal is to maintain your strength while you handle life stress, recover from an injury, or focus on other priorities.
Maintenance seasons are strategic. They prevent burnout, reduce injury risk, and keep you in the game long-term. That's smart training, not weakness.
The women who sustain their strength and fitness for decades? They're not the ones who go balls-to-the-wall year-round. They're the ones who know when to push and when to preserve.
Embracing Growth and Kicking Imposter Syndrome to the Curb
Imposter syndrome in the gym is real. You look around and feel like everyone knows what they're doing except you. Like you don't belong under the heavy weights. Like you're just pretending to be strong.
Let's reframe this: Every single person in that gym started as a beginner. Every single one of them has questioned their form, felt intimidated, and wondered if they were doing it right.
The difference between them and the people who quit? They kept showing up anyway.
Your insecurities don't disqualify you, they make you human. Use them as fuel to learn, grow, and prove to yourself what you're capable of.
The Only Thing That Actually Builds Lasting Strength
At the end of the day, here's what matters most: showing up.
Not showing up perfectly. Not with flawless form and optimal programming every single day. Just... showing up.
Consistency beats perfection every time. The workout you do is infinitely better than the "perfect" workout you skip.
Some days you'll feel strong and unstoppable. Other days you'll drag yourself through the motions. Both count. Both matter. Both are building the foundation of lasting strength.
Your Turn
What's your biggest struggle in the gym right now? Is it confidence? Programming? Knowing when to push vs. pull back? Drop a comment below and let's talk it out, we're all figuring this out together.
Want more no-BS fitness talk? Listen to the full episode and join the Broads community at broads.app.
Black Friday Special: From November 24th through December 1st, if you apply, do your consult call, and join BroadsCOACH, you'll get coaching completely free through the holidays. Your contract doesn't begin until January 1st. Promo ends December 1st, claim your spot now!
Find more from Tara:
Website: https://www.taralaferrara.com/
Instagram: @taralaferrara @broads.podcast @broads.app
Youtube: Tara LaFerrara
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