112: Talia Koren: How to Navigate Fitness and Dating, Why Dating Apps Work + How to Approach Gym Crushes
How to Navigate Fitness and Dating: Why Dating Apps Work + How to Approach Gym Crushes
Dating apps actually work when you use them strategically. Dating expert Talia Koren shares how to optimize your profile, approach gym crushes, and maintain your fitness routine in relationships.
Dating in 2025 feels like a full-time job that pays you in disappointment and bad texters. You're told the apps don't work, that everyone's commitment-phobic, that being too muscular or too dedicated to fitness makes you undateable.
But what if the problem isn't dating apps, your body, or the fact that nobody approaches people IRL anymore? What if you're just approaching the whole thing wrong?
In this episode of Broads, Tara sits down with Talia Koren, founder of Dating Intentionally and host of the podcast by the same name. After going on 64 first dates in one year, Talia met her husband on Hinge (he was number 56) and now teaches women how to date strategically without losing themselves in the process.
This conversation covers everything from optimizing your dating profile to approaching someone at the gym without being creepy, why your muscles are actually an asset, and how to keep your fitness routine when new relationship energy threatens to derail everything you've built.
The Truth About Whether Dating Apps Actually Work
Let's start with the elephant in the room: dating apps get a bad rap. Everyone loves to say they don't work, that they're a waste of time, that all the good people are taken.
Talia calls BS. Dating apps absolutely work when you use them strategically. The problem isn't the apps themselves, it's that most people are using them completely wrong.
Here's the reality: dating apps expand your dating pool exponentially. Unless you're approaching strangers at coffee shops daily (and let's be real, you're not), apps give you access to way more potential partners than you'd ever meet organically. Talia met her husband on Hinge. It works. But only if you know how to make it work.
The key is approaching apps with the same strategic mindset you bring to your training. You wouldn't walk into the gym without a plan and expect optimal results. Why would dating be any different?
How to Know If Your Profile Is Actually Working
Most people's dating profiles are doing them zero favors. Bad photos, generic prompts, unclear messaging about what you're looking for. Then they wonder why they're not getting quality matches.
Talia breaks down how to audit your profile to see if it's actually working. If you're not getting matches, your profile isn't communicating who you are effectively. If you're getting matches but they're not the right people, you need to refine your messaging.
Your profile should showcase your actual lifestyle. If fitness is important to you, show it. Post the gym selfie. Talk about your training. The right person won't be intimidated by your dedication, they'll be attracted to it.
Think of your profile like your fitness programming: specific, intentional, and designed to get the results you actually want.
The Numbers Game: Why You Need 10-15 Matches to Get One Date
Here's a stat that'll either depress you or liberate you: you need about 10-15 matches just to get one actual date.
Why? Because most matches won't message. Of those who message, many won't carry a conversation. Of those who can hold a conversation, many won't be willing to meet up. It's a funnel, and understanding that funnel takes the pressure off each individual match.
Dating is a volume game, just like progressive overload is a volume game in training. You need consistent effort over time to see results. One good workout won't transform your body, and one good match won't solve your dating life.
The difference between people who succeed on dating apps and those who don't? The successful ones understand the numbers and keep showing up anyway.
Which Dating App You Should Actually Be Using
Not all dating apps are created equal. Talia breaks down which apps work best depending on what you're looking for.
Hinge is generally considered the best for people looking for serious relationships. The prompts allow for more personality to come through, and the interface encourages actual conversation. Bumble puts women in control of initiating, which can be empowering but also adds pressure. Tinder has evolved beyond its hookup reputation but still skews more casual.
The app matters less than your approach. But if you're serious about finding a relationship, use the apps that attract people who are also serious. Match your tool to your goal, just like you'd match your training style to your fitness goals.
Green Flags to Look for on a First Date
Everyone talks about red flags. But what about green flags, the things that signal this person is actually worth your time?
Talia shares the green flags she looked for: someone who asks questions and actually listens to your answers, someone who's curious about your life, someone who makes you feel comfortable being yourself. If fitness is important to you, someone who respects (even if they don't share) your dedication to training and nutrition is crucial.
Pay attention to how they talk about their ex, their friends, their life. Do they take responsibility or blame everyone else? Are they genuinely interested in getting to know you, or are they just waiting for their turn to talk?
Dating is like deload week, you're gathering information without the pressure of performing. Use first dates to assess compatibility, not to prove your worth.
When Lifestyle Differences Become Deal-Breakers
So you meet someone great. They check all the boxes. Except they think the gym is a waste of time and consider meal prep "obsessive."
When do lifestyle differences become deal-breakers?
Tara and Talia dig into this complicated question. You don't need someone who matches your fitness intensity exactly, but you do need someone who respects it. If your partner constantly criticizes your training, tries to talk you out of meal prep, or makes you feel guilty for prioritizing your health, that's a problem.
The key is finding someone whose lifestyle complements yours without requiring identical habits. Your partner doesn't need to be your training partner. But they do need to understand that fitness is non-negotiable for you.
What to Do When Your Partner Doesn't Share Your Fitness Lifestyle
Let's say you're with someone who doesn't prioritize fitness the way you do. Is that a death sentence for the relationship?
Not necessarily. The important thing is mutual respect. You respect that they don't want to spend hours in the gym. They respect that you do. You don't push them to change. They don't guilt you for your choices.
Where it gets tricky is when lifestyle differences start affecting shared goals. If you want to travel and stay active, but your partner can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting winded, that's going to create friction. If they eat fast food daily and mock your meal prep, that'll breed resentment.
The relationship works when both people honor each other's choices without trying to change them. Just like you wouldn't force someone to squat heavy, you can't force someone to care about fitness. But you can (and should) require respect for your lifestyle.
The Harsh Reality About What Holds People Back on Dating Apps
Talia doesn't sugarcoat this one: the biggest thing holding people back on dating apps is themselves.
Fear of rejection keeps people from putting themselves out there authentically. Fear of vulnerability keeps them from showing who they really are. Fear of wasting time keeps them from taking chances on people who might actually be great.
But here's the thing: you can't control who matches with you or who asks you out. You can only control showing up as your authentic self and being willing to take the shot.
It's exactly like training. You can't control your genetics or how fast you build muscle. You can only control showing up consistently and doing the work. The results will follow, but only if you're willing to be in the arena.
Why Being Muscular Is Actually an Asset in Dating
If you've ever worried that being "too muscular" or "too fit" makes you less attractive to potential partners, listen up.
Your muscles are an asset, not a liability. They signal discipline, dedication, and the ability to set and achieve goals. They show you take care of yourself and have your shit together. The right person won't be intimidated by your strength, they'll be attracted to it.
Anyone who's threatened by your fitness dedication or your physique isn't your person. Period. You don't want someone who needs you to shrink yourself to feel comfortable. You want someone who celebrates your strength and pushes you to be even more of who you are.
Being strong is sexy. Being dedicated is sexy. Being a woman who lifts heavy and doesn't apologize for taking up space is incredibly sexy to the right person.
How to Approach Someone at the Gym (Without Being Creepy)
Gym crushes are real. The question is: how do you make a move without being that person who makes the gym weird?
Talia's advice: keep it simple, respectful, and low-pressure. Make casual conversation first. Comment on their lift. Ask about their program. Build rapport over time rather than going straight for the number.
When you do ask for their contact info, make it easy for them to say no. Something like "Hey, I've enjoyed chatting with you. Would you want to grab coffee sometime?" gives them a clear out if they're not interested.
And most importantly: if they say no or seem uncomfortable, respect it immediately and give them space. The gym is their space too, and they should feel safe training there.
Think of approaching your gym crush like progressive overload: start light, build gradually, and don't force anything that's not ready to happen.
What to Do When a New Relationship Derails Your Fitness Routine
New relationship energy is real, and it can absolutely wreck your training routine. Suddenly you're spending every spare moment with this new person, your meal prep falls apart, you're skipping workouts to stay in bed longer.
It's tempting to let everything slide when you're in the honeymoon phase. But here's the truth: if you abandon your fitness routine for a relationship, you'll resent both the relationship and yourself.
Talia emphasizes the importance of maintaining your non-negotiables, even when you're falling in love. Your training time, your meal prep, your sleep schedule, these things made you who you are. The person who fell for you fell for someone who prioritizes these things. Don't become a different person just because you're in a relationship.
Set boundaries early. Communicate that your gym time is sacred. Invite them to join you if they're interested, but don't sacrifice your routine if they're not. The right partner will respect your dedication. If they don't, that's information.
The Bottom Line: Date Like You Train
Dating strategically doesn't mean being inauthentic or manipulative. It means showing up with intention, knowing what you want, and not settling for less than you deserve.
Just like you wouldn't walk into the gym without a plan and hope for the best, don't approach dating without clarity and strategy. Know what you're looking for. Optimize your profile. Play the numbers game. Look for green flags. Respect yourself enough to maintain your non-negotiables.
Your fitness dedication isn't a liability, it's an asset. Your strength isn't intimidating, it's attractive. Your routine isn't rigid, it's the foundation that makes you who you are.
The right person won't ask you to choose between them and your fitness. They'll support your goals, respect your dedication, and love you for the strong, disciplined, badass human you are.
Ready to build strength while dating strategically? Work 1:1 with a Broads Coach to create a training program that fits your life, relationship status and all. Learn more at Broads.
New to the gym and want to feel confident before approaching anyone? Download the free Gym Starter Guide and start building your foundation.
How are you maintaining your fitness routine while dating? What non-negotiables do you protect, and where do you make space for connection? Figure out your boundaries before you need them.
