80: Taryn Brumfitt: Breaking Free from Body Shame - How to be Truly Confident in Your Body
Breaking Free from Body Shame: How to Be Truly Confident in Your Body
Taryn Brumfitt (Australian of the Year 2023) joins Tara to discuss breaking free from body shame, why body acceptance leads to healthier behaviors, and how to handle those "wobbly moments" with your body image.
Here's a gut-check question: Have you ever turned down an invitation because you didn't feel good about your body? Skipped the beach trip, avoided the reunion, said no to the party, all because you were too focused on how your body looked instead of what you actually wanted to do?
If you're nodding your head right now, you're not alone. And honestly? That's the tragedy of body shame, it doesn't just make you feel bad, it literally keeps you from living your life.
In this episode, Tara sits down with Taryn Brumfitt, founder of the Body Image Movement and Australian of the Year 2023, for a conversation that'll make you rethink everything you've been told about body confidence. This isn't about affirmations or fake-it-till-you-make-it positivity. It's about the real, messy, transformative work of accepting your body, and why that's actually the foundation for everything else in your life.
Why Focusing on Appearance Keeps You Stuck
Let's start with the big misconception that Taryn tackles head-on: the idea that you need to love how your body looks before you can accept it.
Here's the thing, most of us have been conditioned to focus on appearance above everything else. We critique our bodies in the mirror, compare ourselves to Instagram models, and believe that if we could just change this one thing about our appearance, we'd finally be happy.
But that approach? It keeps you trapped in an endless cycle of dissatisfaction. Because there's always going to be something else to fix, another flaw to obsess over, another way you don't measure up to whatever impossible standard you're chasing.
Taryn's approach flips this completely. Instead of focusing on how your body looks, what if you focused on how it feels? What if you appreciated what your body can do instead of constantly criticizing what it looks like?
This isn't just feel-good philosophy, it's backed by research. When you shift your focus from appearance to functionality, something incredible happens: you start making healthier choices not out of punishment, but out of genuine care for your body.
Body Acceptance Actually Leads to Healthier Behaviors
Here's a mind-blowing fact that flies in the face of everything diet culture teaches us: body acceptance leads to healthier behaviors, not the other way around.
Think about it. When you hate your body, when you're constantly criticizing it and trying to punish it into submission, how do you treat it? You restrict food, over-exercise, ignore hunger signals, and generally treat your body like an enemy that needs to be controlled.
But when you accept your body, when you see it as something deserving of care and respect, you naturally start treating it better. You eat nourishing foods because you want to feel good, not because you're trying to shrink. You move your body because it feels good, not as punishment for what you ate. You rest when you need to instead of pushing through exhaustion.
Body acceptance isn't about giving up on health or "letting yourself go" (whatever that even means). It's about building a foundation of care that actually supports sustainable, healthy behaviors instead of the restrict-binge cycle that body shame creates.
How to Handle Body Commentary from Family Members
Tara and Taryn dive into one of the most challenging aspects of body image work: dealing with commentary from family members.
You know the type, the relative who comments on your weight at every gathering, the parent who's always on a diet, the sibling who makes "helpful" suggestions about your eating habits. These comments often come from people who love us, which somehow makes them even harder to deal with.
Taryn's advice? Set boundaries. Clear, firm boundaries.
It's okay to say things like:
"I don't want to talk about bodies or weight at family gatherings."
"My body is not up for discussion."
"I appreciate your concern, but I'm not looking for advice about my health."
The key is being consistent. The first time you set a boundary, people might push back or act surprised. That's normal. Hold the line anyway. Eventually, most people will learn that this topic is off-limits with you.
And if they don't? You get to decide how much time you spend with people who refuse to respect your boundaries. Your mental health matters more than keeping the peace at family dinners.
Reframing Your Relationship With Your Body
One of the most powerful concepts Taryn discusses is the idea of reframing how you think about your body.
Instead of seeing your body as an object to be judged and criticized, what if you saw it as a trusted companion? Something that's been with you through every experience, that carries you through your life, that deserves appreciation for everything it does?
This reframing exercise can be transformative. Try asking yourself:
What has my body allowed me to do today?
What experiences has my body made possible for me?
What would I want to thank my body for?
When you start viewing your body through the lens of functionality and gratitude instead of appearance and criticism, something shifts. You stop treating your body like a project that needs fixing and start treating it like something valuable that deserves care.
What to Do During Those "Wobbly Moments"
Let's be real, body acceptance isn't a destination where you arrive and never struggle again. Even Taryn admits she has what she calls "wobbly moments" where old insecurities creep back in.
The difference is in how you handle them.
Instead of spiraling into shame or letting one bad body image day derail your progress, Taryn suggests acknowledging the feeling without judgment. It's okay to have a day where you don't feel great about your body. That doesn't mean you've failed at body acceptance, it means you're human.
Some practical strategies for handling wobbly moments:
Remind yourself that feelings aren't facts. Just because you feel bad about your body doesn't mean your body is bad.
Do something that connects you back to your body's functionality, go for a walk, dance, stretch, anything that reminds you what your body can do.
Reach out to your support system. Talk to friends who get it instead of isolating.
Practice self-compassion. Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to a friend who was struggling.
The goal isn't to never have bad body image days. The goal is to not let those days define your entire relationship with your body or keep you from living your life.
Why Taking Up Space as a Woman is Revolutionary
Toward the end of the conversation, they discuss something that doesn't get talked about enough: why taking up space as a woman is such a radical act.
We've been socialized to make ourselves smaller, literally and figuratively. To not be too loud, too big, too much. To apologize for existing in a body that doesn't conform to narrow beauty standards. To shrink ourselves to make others comfortable.
But here's the truth: your body is allowed to take up space. You're allowed to exist in a larger body, a disabled body, an aging body, a body that doesn't fit conventional beauty standards, and you're still worthy of respect, opportunities, and joy.
Taking up space isn't about being aggressive or inconsiderate. It's about refusing to apologize for existing. It's about showing up fully in your life instead of waiting until you're "small enough" or "perfect enough" to deserve to be seen.
And when you do this, when you unapologetically take up space, you give other women permission to do the same. That's revolutionary.
Body Image and Self-Love Aren't Fluffy, They're Foundational
If there's one takeaway from this conversation, it's this: body image work and self-love aren't shallow or self-indulgent. They're foundational to living a full, engaged life.
Think about all the things you've missed out on because of body shame. The experiences you've avoided, the opportunities you've passed up, the relationships you've held at arm's length. Body shame doesn't just make you feel bad, it actively prevents you from living.
Body acceptance, on the other hand, opens up your life. When you're not spending all your mental energy criticizing your body or trying to change it, you have that energy available for everything else, your relationships, your work, your hobbies, your joy.
This is why Taryn's work through the Body Image Movement matters so much. It's not just about feeling better about your body (though that's important). It's about transforming the way we all think and speak about bodies so that future generations don't have to waste years of their lives trapped in body shame.
Your Journey Toward Body Acceptance Starts Now
Body acceptance is a journey, not a destination. There will be wobbly moments. There will be days when you struggle. That's normal, and it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.
The work is worth it, though. Because on the other side of body shame is a life where you're fully present, fully engaged, and fully alive. Where you say yes to opportunities instead of letting your body image hold you back. Where you take up space unapologetically.
You deserve that life. Not when you lose weight, not when you look different, not someday, right now, exactly as you are.
Want to dive deeper into body image work? Check out Taryn Brumfitt's Body Image Movement at bodyimagemovement.com and follow the movement on Instagram @bodyimagemovement.
What's one thing you've avoided doing because of body shame? Share your story with the Broads community on Instagram @broads.app, you might inspire someone else to take that step they've been putting off.
