117: 10 Shifts for a Year That Didn’t Go as Planned
When Your Year Didn't Go as Planned: 10 Mindset Shifts to Stop the Shame Spiral
Feeling behind on your goals as the year ends? This isn't about motivation, it's about making 10 crucial shifts that help you move forward with compassion instead of criticism.
Let's be real: you might be ending the year thinking "this did not go how I hoped."
You had goals. Maybe big ones. You were going to finally hit that PR, lose the weight, be more consistent, get your shit together. And now it's December, and you're scrolling through everyone else's highlight reels wondering where you went wrong.
Here's what we're not going to do: pretend you just need more motivation or a fresh start on January 1st to magically fix everything.
In this solo episode, Tara gets brutally honest about the pressure that comes with year-end goal season, why not hitting your targets doesn't mean you failed, and the ten shifts that actually help you move forward without the endless cycle of starting over.
The Problem Isn't You, It's the Season You Were In
Before we dive into the shifts, let's get something straight: when your goals don't match your reality, it's not a character flaw.
More often than not, it points to:
The season of life you were actually in
What you truly had the capacity for (not what you thought you should have capacity for)
Whether the structure and support around you actually lined up with what you were trying to do
Maybe you were dealing with a demanding job transition. Or family stress. Or your body needed more recovery than you were willing to give it. Or maybe you were just white-knuckling your way through a plan that never actually fit your life in the first place.
That's not failure. That's real life.
The 10 Shifts You Need to Make
1. Get Honest About What Actually Happened This Year
Stop comparing yourself to the version of you that existed in perfect conditions. What was actually going on in your life? What were you dealing with that you maybe haven't given yourself credit for navigating?
Write it down. Look at it. You might realize you were doing a hell of a lot more than you thought.
2. Make Your Goals Fit Your Actual Life
Your goals need to work for the life you have, not the life you wish you had. If your plan requires perfect conditions, unlimited time, zero stress, and a completely clear schedule, it's not a plan. It's a fantasy.
Build goals around your real constraints. That's not settling. That's being smart.
3. Recognize Progress That Doesn't Show Up in Photos or PRs
Not all progress is visible. Sometimes progress looks like:
Showing up when you didn't feel like it
Choosing the workout over the spiral
Eating consistently instead of bouncing between restriction and binging
Staying the course instead of quitting
If you're only measuring progress by the scale or your deadlift max, you're missing most of the story.
4. Stop Making Perfection the Expectation
Perfection isn't the goal. Sustainability is. Consistency beats intensity every single time, but only if you can actually maintain it.
Give yourself permission to be human. To have off days. To not nail it 100% of the time. The goal is progress, not perfection.
5. Remember: You're Not Starting Over
This is huge. You're not back at square one just because you had a rough few months. Every rep you've done, every workout you showed up for, every bit of effort you put in, it all counts.
You're not starting over. You're continuing. There's a massive difference.
6. Train Like the Version of Yourself You're Becoming
Stop waiting for motivation to strike or for the "perfect" time to get started. The perfect stretch of time doesn't exist.
Instead, ask yourself: What would the version of me I'm working toward do right now? Then do that. Not perfectly. Just consistently.
7. Identify What Support and Structure You Actually Need
If you keep setting the same goals and not hitting them, the problem isn't your willpower. It's that you don't have the right support or structure in place.
Maybe you need:
Accountability from a coach or community
A program that's actually designed for your schedule
Someone to tell you when you're overdoing it (or underdoing it)
Help identifying the patterns keeping you stuck
You can't willpower your way through a structural problem.
8. Stop Believing the "Just Try Harder" Lie
Trying harder isn't always the answer. Sometimes you need to try differently. Sometimes you need to do less. Sometimes you need to ask for help.
The "just push through it" mentality works until it doesn't. And when it stops working, it usually burns everything down with it.
9. Give Yourself Compassion Instead of Criticism
Self-criticism might feel productive, but it's not. It just makes you feel like shit, which makes it harder to take action, which makes you criticize yourself more.
Break the cycle. Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to a friend who's struggling. With honesty, yes. But also with compassion.
10. Look at This Year as Data, Not a Verdict
Your year isn't a pass/fail exam. It's data. Information about what worked, what didn't, what you need more of, what you need less of.
When you stop judging yourself and start getting curious, everything shifts. You can't fix what you're not willing to look at honestly.
What This Actually Looks Like in Real Life
Here's the thing: these shifts aren't about feeling better for five minutes and then going back to the same patterns. They're about fundamentally changing how you approach your health, your training, and your relationship with yourself.
It's about:
Building a plan that works with your life instead of against it
Getting the support and structure that stops the "start over" cycle
Training consistently without burning out
Measuring progress in ways that actually matter
Trusting yourself again
And sometimes, you need someone in your corner who's done this before. Someone who can see the patterns you can't, call you on your bullshit (lovingly), and help you build something that actually sticks.
The Truth About Starting Fresh
You don't need a new year to make changes. You don't need to wait for Monday or January 1st or the "perfect time."
What you need is to stop treating every setback like a complete reset and start seeing it for what it is: part of the process.
You're not behind. You're exactly where you are. And from here, you can move forward, not because you found the perfect plan or the perfect motivation, but because you're finally willing to work with yourself instead of against yourself.
Your Move
As the year winds down, you have a choice. You can spiral in comparison and self-criticism, or you can get honest about what happened, what you learned, and what you actually need going forward.
Which one sounds better?
Ready to stop the start-over cycle for good? If you're tired of setting the same goals and not hitting them, maybe it's time to try something different. Check out BroadsCOACH—coaching that actually gets how real life works and helps you build something sustainable.
