104: Emily Duncan: Will Lifting Make You Bulky? Here's The Truth
Will Lifting Make You Bulky? Here's the Truth About Building Strength
Worried lifting weights will make you bulky? Emily Duncan and Tara unpack the biggest myths about strength training, body image, and what women really need to know.
If you've ever avoided the weight room because you're scared of getting "too bulky," you're definitely not alone. It's one of the most pervasive myths in women's fitness, and it's keeping so many women from experiencing the benefits of strength training.
In this conversation with Emily Duncan, fitness coach, entrepreneur, and host of EmBody Radio, Tara dives deep into the bulky myth, body image struggles, and what it really takes to build lasting strength and confidence. Emily's been creating online content for over 12 years, starting in competitive bodybuilding and now helping women move beyond quick fixes and body trends to build real, sustainable results.
This episode is packed with insights about discipline versus obsession, why motivation isn't enough, and how to train for both aesthetics and strength without losing yourself in the process. If you've ever felt like your body is either "too much" or "not enough," this one's for you.
From Ballet to Bodybuilding: Emily's Body Image Evolution
Emily's journey through fitness is a powerful reminder that our relationship with our bodies is constantly evolving, and that's okay.
She shares her experience moving from ballet, where the ideal body was small, lean, and controlled, to bodybuilding, where muscle and curves were celebrated. The shift wasn't just physical. It was a complete reframe of what it meant to be strong, powerful, and feminine.
For so many women, the fitness industry sends wildly conflicting messages. One day you're told to be smaller. The next day you're told muscle is empowering. Social media glorifies one body type for a season, then pivots to something completely different. It's exhausting.
Emily's story highlights something important: there's no one "right" way to look or train. The goal isn't to chase whatever trend is popular right now. It's to figure out what makes you feel strong, capable, and confident in your own skin, and that can change over time.
Your fitness journey doesn't have to follow a linear path, and you don't have to justify why your goals or your body have changed. Growth means evolving, and that includes how you show up for yourself in the gym.
Why "Bulky" Is Fitness's Biggest Lie
Let's talk about the elephant in the room: the fear of getting bulky.
Here's the truth that Emily and Tara both emphasize, building significant muscle mass as a woman is hard. Like, really hard. It requires years of consistent, progressive training, eating in a calorie surplus, prioritizing protein, and often having favorable genetics. It doesn't just happen by accident because you picked up a dumbbell.
The "bulky" myth is rooted in outdated gender norms that tell women they should take up less space, stay small, and avoid being too strong or too powerful. But strength isn't something to fear. It's something to celebrate.
When women say they don't want to get bulky, what they're often really saying is they're afraid of being judged, of not fitting into societal beauty standards, or of feeling "too masculine." But muscle doesn't make you less feminine. It makes you strong, capable, and resilient.
If you're worried about lifting weights because you think you'll wake up looking like a bodybuilder, Emily has news for you: that's not how it works. Building muscle takes intentional effort, time, and strategy. You won't accidentally bulk up from strength training a few times a week.
So pick up the weights. Get strong. And stop letting fear of a made-up problem keep you from achieving your goals.
Balance Is Overrated, Harmony Is What You Actually Need
One of the most refreshing takeaways from this conversation is Emily's perspective on balance. Spoiler alert: she thinks it's overrated.
The fitness industry loves to preach balance, balance your macros, balance your workouts, balance your life. But the reality is, perfect balance is a myth. Life is messy. Some weeks you're crushing your training. Other weeks you're barely keeping it together. And that's okay.
Instead of chasing balance, Emily suggests aiming for harmony. Harmony means your fitness supports your life instead of dictating it. It means being flexible, adjusting when you need to, and not beating yourself up when things don't go according to plan.
Training for harmony looks like prioritizing what matters most in the season you're in. Maybe that means training four days a week instead of six because your work schedule is intense. Maybe it means loosening up on your nutrition because you're traveling or going through a stressful time. Maybe it means taking a rest day when your body needs it, even if it's not on the schedule.
The goal isn't perfection. It's sustainability. And that requires a mindset shift from rigid balance to fluid harmony.
Discipline vs. Obsession: How to Tell the Difference
This is a big one. The line between discipline and obsession can be incredibly thin, especially in fitness culture where extremes are often celebrated and rewarded.
Emily and Tara break down the difference: discipline is showing up consistently for your goals in a way that feels sustainable and supportive. Obsession is when your entire life revolves around your training and nutrition to the point where it's stealing your joy, damaging your relationships, or compromising your mental health.
Discipline empowers you. Obsession controls you.
If you're skipping social events because you can't track your macros, if you're feeling anxious when you miss a workout, if your self-worth is tied to how you look or perform in the gym, those are red flags. That's not discipline. That's obsession, and it's not serving you.
Building resilience means creating habits that support your goals without consuming your entire life. It means being able to adapt, pivot, and give yourself grace when life gets messy. It means recognizing that your worth isn't defined by your body, your lifts, or your discipline.
If you're struggling to figure out which side of the line you're on, ask yourself this: does my fitness routine add to my life, or does it take away from it?
Motivation Is Overrated, Build Systems That Stick
Here's a hard truth: motivation is fleeting. It comes and goes. You can't rely on it to carry you through your fitness journey.
Emily talks about the importance of building systems instead of relying on motivation. Systems are the habits, routines, and structures that keep you consistent even when you don't feel like showing up.
Motivation might get you to the gym on day one. But systems are what get you there on day 300 when you're tired, stressed, and not feeling it. Systems are things like meal prepping on Sundays, blocking out training time on your calendar, laying out your gym clothes the night before, or having a go-to workout you can default to when you're short on time.
The key is making it as easy as possible to follow through. Remove the friction. Automate the decision-making. Create an environment that supports your goals instead of working against them.
And here's the thing: systems don't have to be rigid or complicated. They just have to work for you. Maybe your system is training three days a week at the same time every week. Maybe it's keeping protein bars in your car so you always have a snack. Maybe it's having a gym buddy who holds you accountable.
Figure out what makes it easier for you to show up, and build your routine around that. That's what sustainable progress looks like.
Coaching That Goes Deeper Than Reps and Macros
One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is Emily's approach to coaching. She doesn't just focus on reps, sets, and macros, she goes deeper.
Because here's the reality: most women aren't struggling with knowing what to do. They're struggling with the mindset, the consistency, the self-trust, and the emotional side of fitness. They're battling body image issues, perfectionism, and the constant comparison trap that social media fuels.
Good coaching addresses all of that. It's not just about programming and nutrition. It's about helping women build confidence, trust themselves, and create a sustainable relationship with fitness that supports their lives instead of controlling them.
If you're working with a coach or looking for one, this is what you should be asking for. Not just a meal plan and a workout split, but someone who sees you as a whole person and helps you navigate the mental and emotional side of your journey.
Finding Confidence Outside the Gym
At the end of the day, the real goal of fitness isn't just a stronger body or a certain aesthetic. It's building confidence, self-trust, and joy that extend beyond the gym.
Emily and Tara both emphasize that your worth isn't tied to your body, your lifts, or your discipline. The gym is just one part of your life. It should support you, challenge you, and make you feel strong, but it shouldn't define you.
Finding confidence outside the gym means cultivating hobbies, relationships, and experiences that light you up. It means investing in self-care that doesn't revolve around fitness. It means recognizing that you are so much more than your body and your performance.
Strength training is a powerful tool, but it's not the only tool. And the strongest version of yourself isn't just physically strong, it's emotionally resilient, mentally grounded, and deeply confident in who you are, with or without the gym.
Ready to build strength without the BS? If you're tired of chasing trends and want personalized coaching that addresses the full picture—training, nutrition, mindset, and self-trust—check out Broads 1:1 Coaching and start building a sustainable approach to fitness.
What's your biggest takeaway from this episode? Share your thoughts with the Broads community on Instagram @broads.podcast, we'd love to hear what resonated with you most.
